I feel alone

I have dreams that

I am looking for you

and you don’t come to me

I can see your face

but you are no where around

I don’t know about anything

this emptiness is more

present than you are

You come and look at me

from time to  time

please talk

like you used to

My eyes are burning

and I want to cry

because I remember 

the words

“I love you”

They were so beautiful

I wish you still love

me,

I miss you

and I feel all aloneImage

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Rich boy sits in his room

he looks at me on the screen

he has ideas in his head about

what he could see and I say no

he tells me that I will never see him

again

I don’t shudder

It hurts though because for

four days he has been

texting me and saying

he misses me

I take a deep breath

I am about to be deleted

because the rich boy 

has tired of me..Image

For me, I find I want to talk to men. I never had that attention as a teenager. I was a chubby girl and back in the 80’s that was looked at as almost a defect. I am so glad now that women are told to love themselves. I preach this  myself. LOVE YOU NOW…

Anyway, after my hysterectomy so many things changed. I started to love my body and I began to find myself. I realized I liked to dress up. I realized I loved Glamour and fashion. I looked to my idols Liz and Marilyn and I began to  model for my facebook and the (pen pal site also known as WACKY TOWN). 

I find I need to flirt, but flirting is also born out of insecurity. One would flirt if they were looking for attention and praise which would mean that it was missing from home.

I wish I had a guy who would say “God you are pretty, come here sit on my lap a minute.”

SIGH 🙂

I know you can hear the music playing softly.Image

Do I have to believe a famous Medium?

Is there any hope after a celeb medium tells you that a person you loved doesn’t give a Rat’s ass about you? Ever since I talked to a well known medium I have been upset. A psychic reading should be uplifting not crushing. I wish I never spoke to the medium who told me  someone I loved was a player, never cared, would never come back. I go back and look at photos of his starry eyes staring at me. Can you fake starry eyes? Yes, my marriage is so much better, but since I spoke to this “all knowing and all wise psychic…” It has placed a lot of doubt in my heart.

I welcome comments

Beads on the window

Kylee has hung beads over the curtian

because she is a princess

they are pink and purple beads on

a lilac ribbon

she draped them over the curtian

carefully

she lies and tells people

that she doesn’t want to

see Michael

and she stays in the room

she shares with David

she sprays Chanel and opens

the box that holds the letter 

Michael wrote and when she reads it

she cries

David comes in from behind

her to remind her where she belongs

and he doesn’t look into her eyes

like he should

she hears Michael in her head

“I swear to god I love you Kylee”

The dance begins and she keeps her 

eyes on the beads on the window

it’s easier and passes time

She imagines she is with Michael

that he is eating ice cream

and hugs her it was love for a while

the beads on the window remain still

while she moves

even though she wants to run awayImage

Could we

Could we be a couple

is it too weird to even think

could we be like in love or in like

or is this way outta hand?

Do we have any feelings 

that you just won’t admit

do you still love me

or am I like money you already 

spent?

DO you miss me

and push me away

are you waiting for someone

to come take me away?

Could we be in love again

I wish I could ask you,

but you are too busy

just being you.Imageew 

Thousands of miles to you

Thousands of miles keep me from you

it keeps me from telling you 

that I love you

the miles are like snakes and  briars

they make me doubt you 

and call you a liar

I wish I was there

dressed in black

would that make you want me

back if I was one of your 

people

if I was petite and shy

would you love me again

if I was more like you

would I stop being your sin

why don’t you talk to me

when you promised me 

love

did you feel good another day

ignoring me 

as if I was a dove

that came to perch above your head

you heard me 

but you looked down instead….

Someone Say Something

Can someone say that I matter to them

Can someone drop me a note or an email

I am not some ghost drifting

I want to exsist

Can someone fall in love with me

and not leave

and the next time my husband 

hurts my feelings I know that 

I can turn around and someone is 

waiting

am I wrong to wish for this out loud

can someone say something

I am a passionate poet

and people laugh at this

yet I am an old soul 

I am holding pearls in my hands

the water from rain comes now

drink from hands darling

Say something…..Image

She bangs (Pots and pans)

I am thinking of that Ricky Martin song she bangs and I have to sorta laugh because he didn’t really want to bang girls. I am also thinking about what I bang is dishes and not enough banging as in washing sadly…I hate to do housework, I will admit it. I am no snow white with the broom and dust pan I would rather be in some tropical location for sure. I need to get up and start taking the girls to the pool. My eyes are so dry and I know this is not my diary it is a blog which is a hobby I believe or a way to express ones thoughts etc. Who wants to read everything I write? I know I can’t sit around and read all day. I am trying to think of things to say but to whom. Dear Prince, do you read me? I miss you in my life.

She bangs , she bangs… then what did the song say I can’t remember! Alas, it is Friday darlings. A day to rejoice isn’t it. I will take the kids to the pool and go get myself a diet coke and try to relax. You may say relax from what do the dishes girl! Later, my loves, later…Imagehous