I hate to go through the closet it is like some terrible land of screaming demons but I must go in there…I must see clothes that make me cringe! Why did I buy that? What is that? Uck…but today I am going to go through one of my closets and really, honestly get rid of some stuff I don’t wear.Sometimes, it can be an adventure. I think you should play some music to make things more interesting. Get a bag ready to put clothes you need to donate in. Try to take them to a clothing bin as soon as possible so the bag doesn’t become another “thing i the way but now in a bag” If you haven’t worn it there is a remarkable chance that you will never wear it. Don’t get ideas in your head like you can make a quilt out of it, or suddenly fall in love with an outfit that you don’t recall ever carrying to the cash register. It is an amazing thing to see clothes you never recall ever seeing before!!! Have fun be an explorer and please donate ! M
Lately, I have been really confused. Sometimes I feel all alone in some kind of time warp. My mind goes back to an argument when my husband said some things to me that hurt me very deeply. It was over Money. Was me wasting some money cause enough to hurl insults at me for a 20 a minute Tirade that haunts my mind sometimes when I almost drift off to sleep. I will sit up in bed and look down at the foot of the bed where he stood that morning saying things that he has forgotten and I have not. I have curled up next to him only to recoil. I met someone this year that is kind and cute. He sings to me. He doesn’t call me names or try to make himself feel better by making me feel bad. Sometimes, I pray God gives him a chance because I know eventually my husband may insult me again in his “anger” When he is angry or anyone for that fact they say, “Oh, come on I was mad, you know I love you.” But I am not a little kid, I think deep and I study the situtaion. The anger was caused by disappointment in me, the wife who should be a person of supreme value and well loved by a husband.It is sad to know I disappointed someone…Anyway, back to the guy who has touched my heart. Often he tells me he loves me as we talk on skype or on the phone, I say things like , “Well you don’t have to pay my bills so you think you love me.” I blush when he smiles at me, he wants me to smile. I am thinking bad things like if I had a credit card he had to pay maybe he wouldn’t like me anymore, It is sad money has came between love. He sings songs to me and they are free to listen to. I stare at him and I say “Yeah I love you.” The words come out of my mouth at a cost because I worry about my life, if I will be thrown out of the house, or hurt my husband’s feelings. I tell myself just because I love someone does not mean I can not live in my home I love lots of people and I have had feelings for other men on line that ended badly. Wanting love, however is like wanting air, you don’t go around saying you want air but you open your mouth to get it and hope to God its there.
It happens every year for me since I have had kids. I can’t keep up with who needs a gift, where will the money come from. Are we having guests? What will I cook? OH the guest room is a mess again and I have to clean it ! This morning, I am thinking about Christmas spirit and I just don’t have it in me yet. The weather isn’t very cold. I am thinking about my trip with my daughter to Morrocco. I am not thinking much about Santa and stockings. I have to find Christmas though or feel sad I didn’t. I put my tree up the week before I left to go to my mom’s for Thanksgiving. It is so pretty. I think I will try very hard after sometime to “find” some Christmas Spirit. Maybe, go to the Christmas Tree Store and be part of the crazy crowd that often makes me leave my cart abandoned. Maybe, I could go watch a Christmas movie again…Saw it last week, my christmas mood was lifted 10 minutes. I want to feel Christmas, I want to feel in awe and magic and happy. I will find it somehow and when I do I will let you know, as I write this I wonder if it sounds selfish to want to feel Christmas spirit, I don’t think so, When we are children it just comes to us because we have a belief that Santa is coming , that maybe it will snow that maybe….M
I wonder sometimes, I wonder about the women who said enough is enough after the first time their husband hurt their feelings, how they told them “Get out!” or how they left themselves, did they give in too easy or were they remarkable women with great self pride? Do the ones who cry on the bed for 3 hours waiting for him to come kiss and make up do they deserve a reward? IF so what is the reward, a few happy months before another argument, another let down? IF there is physical abuse in no way would I tolerate that I would be gone like dust on the wind,but verbal abuse, what is it? Emotional abuse, does that mean “I’m too sensitive?” Have you started to doubt yourself, to think, “Maybe I really did mess up, Maybe he was right when he yelled at me in front of his parents…Do you find yourself saying, “It was my fault. I need to try to do better.” Do you tell yourself, “Well if he does it again I’ll leave,but where would I go?” I am just throwing this thought out there to women that if you have been told to be quiet or put down do you start to feel different about the guy you married. How did you feel about him when you got married. I am sure that day you looked at him with these little girl eyes he could do no wrong, maybe even before the papers were signed he had shown his horns a few times. He would smile and say “I got a bad temper, I’m sorry.” You felt like ..”Well, I have a temper too there will be passion…” But sometimes, you were yelled at , put down, you wanted to leave admit it. The door is so close to you but you just can’t turn the handle what will he have to say to get you to say , “I had enough!” I wonder this myself.
Do you wish you had a closet like Carrie’s in “Sex In The CIty?” Well, if you look closely you may have some fun things in there you never noticed before. It’s amazing how a few simple things can give you hours of fun dressing up. If you have a black T-shirt grab some pearls and put them on, (I am thinking fake but heck if you have real ones why not !) if you have a red scarf, what can you do with it? You can make a fancy head wrap, a belt, wrap it around you like it’s the arms of your lover, you can do so much with just a few simple things. Drag out that dress you despised, is there any way you can change it at all? Can you take it to the Talilor and change the sleeves or something? Make it shorter? Add some fancy lace at the bottom to make it 2-3 inches longer and give it a vintage look? Do you have a cool wallet that you would like to carry as a clutch? What do you have in there? It is a pain to take your clothes out of the closet I hate more than anyone to hang things back up, but you can try this lay out things on the bed and try to get ideas about what could go nice together, also you can give away to charity things you just despise..I have came up with a new saying, “There is a vacation in your closet, you just have to go there to see where you can go !”
When I wake up usually I have to take our two dogs out. This is not always the case, but this morning they were acting like two bulls getting ready for a rodeo. I put the leashes on them and opened the back door the wind was blowing and it was cold I didn’t have a jacket, luckily they got the job done quick (Tinkle) and the big job will be a bit later when the younger one goes to school.Now I am sitting here I checked my facebook, and I wish I had a morning routine like a cup of coffee but I don’t care about coffee much. I was glad that I didn’t grab a cold slice of pizza from supper from the fridge!! I have to lose weight I lost 40 pounds 2 years ago and kept it off pretty much but now I am having a hard time again.I just wanted to sit down here and write for a moment. I am glad to have a blog again. I had one before, but its painful to talk about, I am however very sure I will talk about that !! M
Did someone turn on your light ? For me, it was Liz Taylor and Marilyn Monroe. I can’t tell you how many times, I looked at their photos and decided to get dressed up. I want to tell you I think I have about 7,000 photos over the last four years. When we got a web cam I found extreme joy in taking pics for Facebook. I realized I loved to find props for my photos and adjust the lighting, find back grounds, do poses from old hollywood photos and much more. The more photos I took, the more I found nice things about myself. I told myself I was pretty and I told other women they were pretty ! I want other women to get off the couch, go put some make up on, start by washing your face, even if you are tired, even if you are sick, try to get yourself dolled up and take some photos. When we feel bad, it is one of the best things you can do, I sort of get lost in another world, I feel like I am an actress from the 1940’s. Can you imagine how Marilyn must have felt with all the attention? I know she felt alone, but for a moment with the cameras flashing she had to just know she was gorgeous!! to be your own photographer,you don’t have to feel self conscious. If you don’t want to share your photos that is fine, just review them, study them. What colors looked good on you, what clothes did you feel the best in? What jewelry did you like to use for the pics? What was your focal point? Its for you to enjoy being you !!! I recommend looking at old hollywood pics study them if you don’t “connect” with a star try to find your own groove you may start a new trend yourself !!
I want to welcome you all to my new blog right before a new year too! I decided that I needed a place to be me, I was getting some complaints from rude people on facebook today saying that I make too many “status updates…” Well, I am chatty in real life and face book is about me. I also love to write and have had blogs before so here I go again a new attempt 🙂
My name is Margo I am 40 (the new 20) they say.Some of you already know me and I am so glad you came over her to my blog to read from me, one of my dreams is to be a writer, I think I may write a book based on my life.
I love to try to encourage women because for so long I was just “exsiting” in my 20’s I was very ill with female problems and had small children in the house, I longed to play with them but sometimes I was so weak I could only dream of playing with them. I had to have a hysterectomy four years ago and that was both a good and bad thing! I have so much I would love to share with you, I am always looking for “true friends” and pen pals if you would like to be pen pals please feel free to contact me.
I look forward to hearing from you !