I’m gonna just be

I sit and take a photo with my husband

and I say to myself

this is it

I will stop chasing dreams

because he is good enough

to sit next to me

I will stop missing kisses 

that will never come

and I will fly

away

only in dreams

he says he loves me

so let’s see

Today is okay so far

I’m just gonna be

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CLIMBING

I am climbing

and I may fall

people are laughing at me

from below

they mock me and mock

my heart

but I am climbing

looking for it all

My destiny tells me

that I must climb

and look at life 

on the other side

the bells are ringing

and I hear your voice

I am climbing 

by my own choice

the crowd is 

screaming

calling me names

but I will escape them

one day

and I will have my names

in lights

when they sit in the dark

old and gray one nightImage

IGNORED IGNORED

I went back to Face Book last night to see no emails from Mr. Morocco and I am truly upset. I know many people think why whine, but my story is about a woman who believed a guy got on a plane and risked her marriage to see someone who would end up ignoring her. I don’t know what to do the pain of being dismissed is one I am familiar with but I truly cared for him. I am so tired of being ignored. I come and I blog and I try to express myself. I wait for women to write me or even a guy *LOL. I want to say that being ignored is a terrible feeling it is like being left in a sunny meadow and no one coming back. It is about days changing into weeks and months with no growth. I just don’t know what to say or do.  The distance allows him to act like I don’t exsist. I saw he added a lovely muslim girl to his friend’s list. I should find my prayer rug and try to  take on a religion that has told me I am not one of them, that I can not have one of their own. I am ignored today I am alone.

Shannon’s Hope

Shannon lay in her bed the sheets pressed against her bare belly and she rested her chin on the pillow that smelled of cinnamon. She was thinking about life and love and the lack of love when she thought about the man who lived across the street. She got up and showered , sprayed Chanel number 19 on and slipped into a black dress. She took Some cookies from a box lay them in a paper plate covered the plate with plastic wrap and left the house she shared with her sister Emma. She walked across the street and knocked on the man’s door. He opened the door and had a look of shock on his face. The woman with the cookies.

“Hi there, I just thought I would make your day a little brighter.” She gave him the plate of cookies and smiled at him. His face held bewilderment.

“You are my neighbor across the street aren’t you?” He asked and he motioned for her to come inside. He was nervous because no one ever showed up at his home with a plate of cookies looking so adorable. He had seen this pretty neighbor before, but why was she here now?

“I am sorry I can’t , but I just wanted to give someone a surprise today and I hope you have a great day.” She turned and left before he could think of anything to say.

When she got back Imageto her house Shannon flopped down in a chair and cried. She was exhausted now. She wanted to be more brave and daring and now she had gave her handsome neighbor a small token to make him think of her, unless he choked on the cookies and she never saw him again.She didn’t want the day to pass now without more excitement so she went out in the yard and pretended to weed the garden. There was no sight of him and she wrinkled up her nose. Her sister was not home off in Miami again with her rich boyfriend Roger. She decided that the neighbor was a bad idea and went back inside where she washed her face and looked at herself in the mirror. She needed rest. When she had went back to her bed the door bell rang.

It was the neighbor and he was carrying a rose.Shannon opened the door and her gray eyes lit up like early night stars.

” A little thank you.” He smiled at her and handed her the rose. She was over come with emotion. She had wanted to make someone’s day brighter and here this man was with a beautiful rose.

“Ah, you didn’t have to.” She said and she stepped outside to be in the same space with the man with the pretty green eyes.

“Well, You made me happy so I figured what the heck, so I ran down to the gas station and got a rose for you.” He looked to the door behind her.

“Oh, come in have coffee.” She moved aside and pushed the door open. He sat down on the sofa and suddenly he was nervous.

“I just want to you know make things happen, days can be so boring I thought I would do something special for someone.” She told him as she put  coffee powder into the coffee maker that always seemed to over flow water onto the counter top.

“Well, you sure did change my day.” He smiled at her and he wondered if he would have a chance to kiss her. She was very pretty and he wondered if the cookies was a way to flirt with him. He took the coffee when she offered it to him and sat down across from him.

“What’s your name?” She asked him.

“Daniel.” He replied taking a sip of coffee. “Can I bother you for one more spoon full of sugar.” He sort of blushed then and she went to the kitchen and came back with the sugar mug and spooned him out some sugar. Her gray eyes were pure temptation and it almost seemed like an erotic fantasy that the lovely neighbor had came to his home and he to hers. He wanted to stand up take her in his arms and kiss her.

“Coffee is good thank you. What is your name?” He asks and smiles at him.

“Shannon.”She gets up and walks about as if she is a cat. He puts the coffee down and tells himself if he doesn’t leave now he will grab her and lay passionate kisses on her.

“I have to go. Thank you so much for the cookies and the coffee.” He grins at her and she feels sad that he will leave.

When they are at the door together he leans down and kisses her cheek. She smiles with flushed cheeks. She touches his hand and kisses it. This sets off a fire in him but he remains at the door.

“Thank you for the rose.” She tells him and wraps her arms around  him for a hug. His heart is beating so fast that he feels as if he will fall into the yard.

“You are intoxicating miss Shannon.” He shakes his head. “I better go, but I hope to see you soon.” He turns to go and she calls after him.

“I hope I do see you soon!”

 

M

Someone Say Something

Can someone say that I matter to them

Can someone drop me a note or an email

I am not some ghost drifting

I want to exsist

Can someone fall in love with me

and not leave

and the next time my husband 

hurts my feelings I know that 

I can turn around and someone is 

waiting

am I wrong to wish for this out loud

can someone say something

I am a passionate poet

and people laugh at this

yet I am an old soul 

I am holding pearls in my hands

the water from rain comes now

drink from hands darling

Say something…..Image

I can’t express

I can’t express what is like

to be ignored

by someone I love

I can not say LOVED

because that means it

is dying

the word, the feeling

the intent

He doesn’t miss me

this is a torture beyond

belief

My passport has his country’s

stamp on it

but his heart what does it read?
I am in grief

he ignores me as if I am nothing

does he love a girl wearing a scarf

is the American girl useless now?

I can’t express my feelings anymore

I can only say

I am hurt.Image 

Movie Review Madea’s witnness Protection

I love the Madea movies with Tyler Perry and this movie was really cute, it wasn’t as “action packed” as many Madea movies, but it had a cute story line. Madea’s nephew who is an FBI Agent played by Tyler Perry asks Madea (Also played by Tyler Perry) will she house a family that is being watched by the mob he tells her she will get four thousand dollars a month (I never heard any mention of the cash however later on in the movie). Madea houses the family the uppity and wimpy buisness man husband, the beautiful model wife, the smart mouth teen and the all american boy. Madea is not happy with the Teen’s smart mouth and there are a couple funny scenes where you can tell she just wants to slap the crap out of the girl who looks a bit like Selena Gomez , but isn’t. Madea gets involved in helping getting charities the buisness man was involved with their money back that was stolen by a panzi scheme. She gets a funny pat down at the airport which makes fun of the TSA and this was a nice giggle. I enjoyed the movie very much and it made me want more Madea movies, which always happens when I watch one I want more ! Funny and side splitting in parts I give it an A.

MargoImage

No Face Book in TWO DAYS

I haven’t been back to  Face book in two days. It’s upsetting to me that I haven’t had any texts from anyone. I wish Mr. M would miss me. I cried today at the pool because I played a song he used to sing to me. I miss him and I truly love him. I tried to contact Mr. Tall,but he must be as interested in me as a flea would be in a brick wall. I stayed at the pool half the day and let the kids swim and I went back and fourth to the deck chairs and lay there tears streaming out the corner of my eyes. I don’t know. I am tired and sitting here missing my mom and have a giant diet coke in the window, we had very hot weather here in New York today. I went and saw Madea’s witness protection movie laughed and it felt so good to laugh I have to do a movie review on that.I miss Face book a little bit but I feel it is nice not to be there and reminded that Mr. M doesn’t give a camel’s crotch where I am in this world. As I hide out I can see how Mr. M can forget me, the more you stay away from a person the easier it is to forget you ever touched them or told them you loved them. When you hide out you live in a new world where that person no longer matters.I do think of him. I think how could he keep on ignoring me. I don’t believe in love much besides love for my kids and dogs because what I seen in men has hurt a lot. So no face book day two, sounds like an ad right! M

She bangs (Pots and pans)

I am thinking of that Ricky Martin song she bangs and I have to sorta laugh because he didn’t really want to bang girls. I am also thinking about what I bang is dishes and not enough banging as in washing sadly…I hate to do housework, I will admit it. I am no snow white with the broom and dust pan I would rather be in some tropical location for sure. I need to get up and start taking the girls to the pool. My eyes are so dry and I know this is not my diary it is a blog which is a hobby I believe or a way to express ones thoughts etc. Who wants to read everything I write? I know I can’t sit around and read all day. I am trying to think of things to say but to whom. Dear Prince, do you read me? I miss you in my life.

She bangs , she bangs… then what did the song say I can’t remember! Alas, it is Friday darlings. A day to rejoice isn’t it. I will take the kids to the pool and go get myself a diet coke and try to relax. You may say relax from what do the dishes girl! Later, my loves, later…Imagehous

ITSY BITSY CLASSMATE

I still think about my run in with my class mate I am going to give him the Alias Dan since that’s an all American name isn’t it? I wish I never talked to Dan those couple of weeks on the phone and on Skype. I wanted that Kentucky connection, you see part of me always wished a guy from back home would like me. I want to tell the story of Dan in a careful way. First of all, I wish Dan was okay. I know he is not okay because anyone okay would not curse a person out for no reason and talk to them like the devil. Dan told me he loved me. I know by now you would think “Margo guys lie.” I think somewhere in his heart for a day or two he thought he did love me. You see I have had many dreams about Dan throughout my life, and I thought that this was some kind of fated meeting. He even told my friend Liz “I think it’s fate we meet up again.” But Dan would come in and out of crazy. He would have this evil laugh for Bravado warning me that something was off, but my ears wanted to hear the accent similar to mine. “I love you Margaret.” He said and I would be looking out into the darkness as he talked to me on the phone. I couldn’t say it back my Gut told me not to, but it would of been so easy. Dan was slipping in and out of crazy. His face book status would be just pure slang and cursing. He would write me and call me a pathetic moran and I would cry. He wrote me a long fb mail saying that I was useless and to stay away from him. I had to delete him, block him and I wonder what the heck was this all about. I remember him playing the guitar for me on skype and his blue eyes, the eyes that always had dark haunted circles underneath. I can’t hate him, I wish he could come out of whatever that has him captive, the drugs or the disorder or whatever that makes him say mean things to someone who really cared.Image