What Happened To The Guy With The Surfboard?

He came on to me

and he looked like Justin Timberlake

he called me and texted

and swore he was falling in love

when I would not show him

my birthday suit 

he decided

to fly the coop

it’s really sad

he was cute

with his surfboard and saying

“I’m falling for you…”

I get the lines all the time

it is so sad he could not be mine

what happened to the guy with the surfboard?

Does he miss me too?

Why is this happening?

Today was a very bad day I keep wondering why someone who said they loved me would stay away from me when I had went all the way to Morrocco to see him. I wonder if he got a new girl, I wonder if he never cared, I don’t have the answers.I loved him. Mr. Morrocco. I always held him in the back of my mind because I gave Mr. Tall (algeria) some high rank but he is not deserving. If you read me you know I have a think about psychics because I am one, but I never know what’s going around me…They are telling me oh Mr. Tall is your soul mate and he is coming in stronger than Morrocco..I texted Mr. Tall and I said I need you, Mr. Morrocco has left me. In a woman’s dreams the ex would say oh yippee!! I will tell her I love her now. (HHAHAHHAHA) He wrote, “dump the guy and no I can’t talk to you I’m busy.” Funny this guy used to talk hours to me and say he loved me. Should I never trust in love again? This was my question all day as I cried.I told my mom in the back of my mind I am afraid one day my DH will say something again that will wound me and I won’t have anyone there to say “I’m here.” I was getting along with DH, I have been cooking dinner and making chit chat and even hugging him at night, but my mind wanders back to the guy with soft brown eyes who said “I love you”. I prayed to God today that he had not let him slip away, I prayed that I wasn’t told falsehoods. I prayed so hard. I was disgusted by Mr. Tall because I had used Law of attraction so whole heartedly trying to pull him to me again, but he is selfish, consumed by his own needs and never once dropping a note to say “Hey”. If I lose Mr. Morrocco, what will I do? But how could someone not contact me in 8 days? I am lost and everything I believe in love the shreds that were left are in my ¬†hand slipping like sand it will take an answer for me to settle I am shaken, I don’t want this unrest, I have been hurt enough by online loves ENOUGH…Please Pray for a miracle, that he meant what he said. MImage

Got me working 9 to 5 oh what a way ….

I am sitting here thinking about being a secretary to someone I once massively loved..I would walk around his desk so many times like a nascar driver. He would finally notice that I was beautiful and pull me down on his lap his lips seeking mine…Okay, time to wake up! Today I called him, I figure someday he may read my blog and discover all my little secrets, but oh well. I called the one I wrote a poem about this morning. He told me maybe we would work online together again. I loved to hear his voice and how intelligent he is. I felt bad when I told my someone special oh I call him Aman, That I wanted to work with Rudi (lol I guess this will be his alias). He looked very sad and I could see the emotion on his face, it made me feel bad and I didn’t know how to react. Aman was sitting in his cyber cafe with his black Nike jacket and his earphones on, he was so sweet to me and I reminded myself 3 weeks ago I was holding his hand walking across a crowded street in Morrocco.I had lay down talking to Rudi I will call him this because sometimes he cam be rude (sometimes whew!) and listened to his ideas. We used to have lots of ideas and had made blogs and spent hours dreaming of making cash. He had no tone of interest in me as a female. He even told me, “What ever you wish for don’t wish for me because I will never leave Algeria.” I had rolled my eyes because he has been the focus of half the wishes in my life. I kept on talking and I tapped the convo on my iphone camera because I want my friend Liz to listen to it, she has became like my detective. You know the guys who sit out in the vans and listen in to the main actors who have been wired?Sadly, I don’t think he has any interest in me, I think he thinks of me like a turnip or a stale cookie that he can remember he once liked..I don’t know. I had gotten off the phone and did my classic sobbing into the pillow because I am just a secretary type, someone to help do stuff with not the love of his life or the one he goes to sleep dreaming of. My someone special was there for me today and I appreciate that and I hope God knows what I want more than anything is just someone to really love and hug and talk to, the problem is I crave banter that back and forth thing that well, I won’t talk about who…M

Thinking About me

Is he thinking about me at all?
There is no email, no phone calls..

Is he thinking of me even once a day

about me and things we could say

Does he want to hold me close

or forever shut the door

why is it always his choice if

he can love me or throw me away

I ask myself over and over

is he thinking about me

even when he walks away

I wish I knew the answer to this

question, I wish I knew the truth

and in which direction his feelings

fly like a bird to watch over me like prey.

Does he ever think of me?