Got me working 9 to 5 oh what a way ….

I am sitting here thinking about being a secretary to someone I once massively loved..I would walk around his desk so many times like a nascar driver. He would finally notice that I was beautiful and pull me down on his lap his lips seeking mine…Okay, time to wake up! Today I called him, I figure someday he may read my blog and discover all my little secrets, but oh well. I called the one I wrote a poem about this morning. He told me maybe we would work online together again. I loved to hear his voice and how intelligent he is. I felt bad when I told my someone special oh I call him Aman, That I wanted to work with Rudi (lol I guess this will be his alias). He looked very sad and I could see the emotion on his face, it made me feel bad and I didn’t know how to react. Aman was sitting in his cyber cafe with his black Nike jacket and his earphones on, he was so sweet to me and I reminded myself 3 weeks ago I was holding his hand walking across a crowded street in Morrocco.I had lay down talking to Rudi I will call him this because sometimes he cam be rude (sometimes whew!) and listened to his ideas. We used to have lots of ideas and had made blogs and spent hours dreaming of making cash. He had no tone of interest in me as a female. He even told me, “What ever you wish for don’t wish for me because I will never leave Algeria.” I had rolled my eyes because he has been the focus of half the wishes in my life. I kept on talking and I tapped the convo on my iphone camera because I want my friend Liz to listen to it, she has became like my detective. You know the guys who sit out in the vans and listen in to the main actors who have been wired?Sadly, I don’t think he has any interest in me, I think he thinks of me like a turnip or a stale cookie that he can remember he once liked..I don’t know. I had gotten off the phone and did my classic sobbing into the pillow because I am just a secretary type, someone to help do stuff with not the love of his life or the one he goes to sleep dreaming of. My someone special was there for me today and I appreciate that and I hope God knows what I want more than anything is just someone to really love and hug and talk to, the problem is I crave banter that back and forth thing that well, I won’t talk about who…M